Mastering The Energy of Love
Day 8: Observe
Become a witness to your life.
One of the most loving things you can do for yourself is to observe. The magic of observation with out judgement can be a loving way to heal anywhere you’re blocking yourself from receiving love. We observe others with great ease, but not so much ourselves. We get to see how we’ve pushed away the energy of love without even realizing it. Remember, no matter what you’re innocent and we will talk about judgement later.
We were raised to believe that others are responsible for how we feel. So, when we don’t feel loved, we blame others for not stepping up and loving us the way we feel we need or deserve. We look to others or observe others as a means of understanding ourselves better, but we very rarely use the observation as a means of seeing deeply into our own short comings. This isn’t about replacing blame for others with blame for yourself. This is about being able to see what’s causing you pain and loving yourself through.
Don’t be shy about it and do your best to not blame anyone for it. As in, don’t label them an issue because you’re having a response. The power of observation with out judgement is to help you get to know what feels right and doesn’t, it’s not about assuming things about people because they bring something up in you. That just perpetuates separation and lack of love.
Observe how you react or feel about certain things. Observe how your body feels. Observe your thoughts. Observe your feelings. Register what your energy is telling you about you in different ways.
Why it’s important to do…
When you begin to know yourself on such a solid, deep level, like all you little nuances, it becomes really difficult to give up your power to anything or anyone outside of you. And this alone, gives you the power to choose. And when you have the power to choose, you allow so much more in that feels good than not.
It will take some time and effort to play with and understand so be patient with yourself. More importantly leave the judgement at home. You become better if you’re already perfect, so you can stop assuming you need to be perfect all the time. That also keeps you from letting love in 😊 The great thing about this exercise is that you don’t have to decide anything or act on anything right now. You just get to learn.
Observe your feelings. How something makes us feel will trigger a thought response, a verbal response, and/or physical response. How do you feel? What does that feeling remind you of? Do they make you feel the energy of love or not?
Observe your thoughts about others. What message are they sending? Are they true? Are they helping or hindering? Are they making you feel better or feel worse? Do they make you feel the energy of love or not?
Observe your thoughts about you? What message are they sending? Are they true? Are they helping or hindering? Are they making you feel better or feel worse? Do they make you feel the energy of love or not?
Observe the language you use. What are you saying? What are you trying to say? Are you speaking from your heart? Are you speaking from your pain or wound? Do they make you feel the energy of love or not?
Observe your actions. What are you trying to do? What is the outcome you desire? Are you doing it for you, to get something out of someone else, or for someone else? Do they make you feel the energy of love or not?
Oof, let’s just say for the record that expectation is a beotch. It’s not our friend and often leaves us wanting. We were raised, you’ll notice I say that a lot, in the energy of expectation. Our family, schooling, friends, lovers, all had expectations of us. So, it’s no wonder we expect a lot of others in return. But, as it is, expectation creates a barrier to love. Love is expansive, expectation is restrictive. Expectation only allow us to see things or people in a very limited manor. In addition to that, we often put expectations on others when we feel our needs aren’t being met in some way. We will hear a lot about needing respect or needing someone to step up. The issue with this is that not only is that other person not here to live up to your expectations but their inability to do so will only make you feel worse about yourself and the situation between you.
Why this can be a detriment to you beyond feeling out of sorts with others…
If you’re holding others to high standards, it wouldn’t surprise me if you were doing the same to yourself. Holding ourselves to unrealistic expectations is the furthest things from love you can imagine. Especially if you feel you’re constantly failing or not measuring up.
Releasing The Need To Expect
Observing what you expect from others will help you understand what you really need so you can find a way to give that to yourself or at least make sure your needs are being met in a way that releases any unrealistic expectations of others.
When you find yourself feeling disappointed with someone or yourself:
What were you expecting?
Why were you disappointed?
What did this make you think or feel?
How were your needs not met?
Now that you know what your needs are, are you capable of delivering them?
Can you think of ways in which you can observe yourself more? Or maybe even how you’d like to go about that process…
Can you see where other’s people being unable to meet your expectations has left you feeling less worthy of love or unloved?
Can you see where other’s peoples or your own expectations for yourself have left you feeling less worthy of love or unloved?
How can you find a way to feel loved regardless of how you’re made to feel or regardless of what other people do?