Emotional Abandonment + Dismissed Feelings

Twinflame Childhood Wound Series


Today we will dive into the first of many childhood wounds articles. We are seeing more than ever how much our childhood trauma and wounds show up in our adult life. These articles are designed to help you navigate your own childhood and help you understand how and where you shifted out of the true alignment of who you are. Trauma is anything that shifted you out of alignment with the truth of who you are. We aren't born hating ourselves, feeling shame, guilt, anger, sadness. We aren't born needing to be perfect, we learn those things due to interaction with situations and other people through out our childhood.





How it may have shown up for you in your childhood:


One or both of your parents may have dismissed your emotions by:


  • reacting negatively to your emotions

  • making it about them and how inconvenient it is

  • shutting you down completely

  • made fun of you or laughed at you for feeling the way you did

  • minimized the situation or how you felt about it

  • ignored your feelings altogether



Why your parents may have acted the way they did:


  • they experienced the same thing in their childhood

  • they never learned how to process their own emotions

  • they feel uncomfortable with the emotions of other people

  • they're needs were never met so their needs are a priority

  • they actually believe they are helping because they were taught that emotions are bad, or weakness, or won't serve you



How it may show up in your life as an adult:


  • you may dismiss your own emotions or try to push them away

  • you may have a hard time sitting in your emotions long enough to understand them

  • you may fear expressing your emotions

  • your emotions may make you feel stupid or weak or embarrassed

  • fear of being rejected for how you feel

  • minimize your own feelings

  • you may want to help someone get to a solution or the silver lining without letting them process due to your own discomfort


How it may show up in your connection:


  • you may have paralyzing fear in expressing how you feel to your person, about anything, not just how you feel about them

  • you might fear they will think your feelings are stupid

  • you may fear they will judge you for how you feel

  • you might fear they will laugh at you

  • they may pick up on your fear and react to that

  • they may react in a way that triggers you to help you see that the wound still exists

  • you might feel your emotions are too much for them, or they may act like they are


What you can do about it:


  • get good at observing how your emotions make you feel or how you react to them

  • try to identify why you might be feeling that way or wanting to react that way

  • in that moment determine what you need to acknowledge your feelings and do that

  • learn to address your feelings in a genuine, healthy way

  • allow yourself to express how you feel without judgement, even if it's just to yourself first

  • forgive your parents for not knowing enough to provide a healthy space for your emotions to thrive

  • forgive yourself for not realizing how much this wound affected you now as an adult


Each step you take toward understanding yourself and accepting yourself for where you are at, is an opportunity to heal and grow. You need to proud of yourself for getting to a place where you can learn more about and more so, want to do something about it. Your Twinflame will reflect back to you all the wounds you carry so any work you're willing to do to heal those things or release those things will only benefit you and your connection.


Much Love,

Candi