Go back to the first time you experienced this emotion.
What was the situation surrounding this emotion?
What did you need then in those moments when you felt those things the first time?
ie. what did the child you need but didn't get
Can you find a way to help the you in that situation understand and filter it from a different perspective?
ie. can you give the child you what you needed. can you tell the child you what you needed to hear to understand the situation, to not take responsibility for it or absorb is as truth
Empathy is the first step to detachment of emotional responsibility or taking someone else's choice in behaviour:
Can you apply this theory to the other people in this situation?
ie. if it was your parent can you detach from why they did it, knowing that why they did it was because of their own wounds, beliefs or emotional baggage and that it had nothing to do with you.
Can you forgive the other people in this situation?
Can you forgive yourself for carrying this for so long?
*if you don't feel relieved, go back to the beginning and dig deeper.